Strange Wind

“If the wind had been blowing the Devil this way, the Midnight could scarcely have grown more unholy.”  –Owen Meredith

Haven’t been talking to God much lately; mostly just watching and listening. Haven’t been writing much lately either. Back about 15 years ago I performed with a poet who later asked me what I thought of his work. In honesty I said, “You’re probably one of the best poetic writers I’ve ever met but your work is awful. You have all the words but nothing to say. You need to get out from your papers and live, fall in love with a tramp, split your head open, get some plot to your feelings." So that’s where I’ve been.

When I suddenly knew Christ I was there on the mountaintop but as we came down to the crowd of people I soon understood what it meant when scriptures says, "The Disciples kept to themselves and did not tell anyone at that time what they had seen" -Luke 9:36

Immediately, I was surrounded by believers who began to size me up and down like two-bit tailors ready to put me in a cheap suit. And as I looked around in my new church and my new circle of Christian friends I noticed they were all wearing the same ill fitted suits themselves. They all had this sort of clumsy religiosity with moral suggestions and behaviorism's that really reminded me of oppressed citizens in an occupied village.

Well I winced and jerked back. Not in faith but in action. Who are these shut-in’s and why are they treating me like this?, I thought to myself. I began hearing terms like, “We believers” and “Us” and "Them (non-believers)". It bothered me.

I just don’t think that an all loving God who created everyone would be passing out membership cards to us and not others. I have questions. Mature questions like, “Knowing that God reached out to me exactly the way I needed to be reached, wouldn't he also be willing to reach out to all creation in exactly the manner they need? Is that why we have so many religions? And, Isn’t God just as much in the bars and the parks and gyms on Sunday as he is in a Church? So why are these church folk criticizing their brothers in bars, parks and gyms? Why are they shunning others who pray to God under a different denomination? So after falling asleep a few times during the sermons in a sun vacant church and a few minor outbursts of my own I left and headed home for the remainder of my Sundays.

Then suddenly I was out. I was no longer being treated like the newest member to the Kappa Kappa Christo. Now I was an adulterer of the faith. And I won’t drag on with the emails, instant messages and texts I’ve received but I will include a few of the terms that were sent my way… “Self-Centered, Vain, Arrogant, Uncensored, Non-Biblical, (and my personal favorite) Someone who feels he doesn't need us anymore.” When did I need the crowd at the base of the mountain? Are they my Christ? Did Christ leave me in their protective care? No, my Christ is with me. Not because I’ve earned his fellowship but because he is with us all.

So I’ll keep this letter short. I’m not real happy with Christians right now. My faith in God is solid because the Lord has chosen to make it so. My faith in his children however (me included) is shaky at best.

Alright, a little Bob then I'm off to bed..