I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there. –Herb Caen
Warriors should be careful with war stories. It’s easy and it’s entertaining to take a time in our past when we might’ve run through hell on earth and then glorify it; even romanticize it. And I’m no exception. But we need to be careful when we reminisce about the things we’ve done in war. And by war I mean a time of chaos in our lives. When we lived so close to fear that we did almost anything to survive. My war was in drugs and alcohol but it could be a lot of other things for each of us.
I was with a friend a few months ago and I showed them the painting posted above and asked, “Do you remember the story of Sodom and Gomorrah?” He said, “Yeah, a little.” And I said, “You know, we used to live our lives in a sort of Sodom before Christ saved us...
And now the music and drunken parties may have ended- the drugs may be gone- the money- the women- even our youth; But deep inside the wrinkles in our eyes when we smile there’s still a small sparkle of that glitter from the night we were pulled out.” And we need to be aware of that.
We need to consider that maybe we’re still susceptible to being pulled back in. Remember what the Angel's said to Lot as they we’re dragging him from the city- “Escape for your life. Do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley. Escape to the hills, lest you be swept away.” -Genesis 19:17
And what did his wife do as they were being rushed to a safe place to start new lives? She looked back. The story says, “But Lot's wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.” -Genesis 19:26
You see where I’m going with this? I mean, is it right that we look back on those days of our sinful past with heroic tales as though we miss them?
Oscar Wilde said, “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
And I don’t think we can fully embrace our future until we’ve fully let go of our past. It’s as though we have to set something old down in order to pick something new up.
Anyway, all these thoughts are usually swirling somewhere in my head but maybe a little more clearly tonight than most. Tonight’s November 22 and it’s been exactly 1 year since my last drink. Tonight was the night I was arrested and finally humbled enough in my depravity to call out to Jesus.
And I guess I just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge the bombs that still fall as Jesus continues to completely destroy my sinful past. Thank you Jesus for continuing in my rescue.
And if it's God's will for me to use the salvation from my past as lessons to teach others of His mercy then let me continue to do that. But I know that's still me looking back so, Lord help me to be careful not to stare.
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